Sweaty Balls and Hook-Ups: Keep the Two from Ever Meeting

Most of the time you don’t plan a hook up. Unless she’s a booty call that you’ve dialed before you’ll most likely find your latest conquest in a bar or at some club. Those places are packed full of people. More people crammed into one room means more heat. More heat means sweat. That doesn’t really matter in the long run since you can shower or throw on some deodorant if you’re a little smelly. But unfortunately your balls don’t have the same luxury. Ball sweat has been neglected for too long. This is an affliction that can keep you from getting laid as well as the sweet nectar that is a blowjob. There are ways to quickly get rid of sweaty ball syndrome, though. Try one of these solutions to avoid cock-blocking yourself.

Pre-game Prep

"Use fresh balls before you hook up"

“Use fresh balls before you hook up”


There’s nothing better than keeping your junk clean. Axe, a company that makes fragrances for guys, has a loofah type thing specifically made for dudes. It’s a glorified poof that women use, but one side is rough (for knees and elbows) and the other is the soft poofy part. It’s perfect for getting your sack clean, even the nooks and crannies.

If you’re not a shaver, then you might want to start. Some prefer no hair at all and just shave everything below the belt. But you don’t have to be that extreme. Taking a pair of scissors or an electric shaver to your man bush will have a ton of benefits. Not only will you look neater, your dick will look bigger and can’t cling to all of your curls.

It’s Time to De-Funk

"She'll love touching you over there"

“She’ll love touching you over there”


Pre-gaming your boys is definitely going to help with the ball swamp, but if you really need to de-funk like, right now, then you can still save your hook up. Run into the bathroom and grab some powder. You could use baby powder, but it does rub off pretty quickly. Instead go for the second runner up, Jack Black Dry Down Friction-Free Powder. It’s really finely milled so you won’t have the clumps that come along with baby powder. Plus it’s scented. Your balls will be a haven of lavender, green tea, and cucumber. You’ll be dry like a wonderfully smelly desert. The only down side is that it’s a shaker applicator and you can’t really shake upwards. Keep it off of your boxers or it will look like you’re trying to snort coke through your dick.

That’s all fine and dandy, but the best product for de-funking balls is Fresh Balls. They wouldn’t name their product that if they couldn’t deliver results. This doesn’t really have a unique scent, but it’s really easy to apply. The tube squirts out a lotion that almost instantly transforms into a powder. How they do it, we’ll never know. But it manages to keep everything dry. Plus there’s no fallout onto your shorts. If you are heading to her place to hook up you can always carry this tube in your car for on the go cleaning.

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