She Wants to Do the Weird Stuff: How to Handle a Kinky Woman

You picked up a hot woman at the bar and when you get her home, you realize that the two of you had some crossed signals. She’s really into kinky things, and you may or may not be able to keep up with her. If you’re more of a vanilla man yourself, it can seem like the two of you are in for a disappointing time. However, you can handle this awkward situation and still turn it into an enjoyable evening by following these simple steps.

Get Her to Define What She Wants

Sometimes things sound kinkier than they really are. If she wants you to hit her, your instinct might be to say no. However, if you talk it out with her, you might realize that she just wants a spanking which is something you didn’t even think of when you thought “hit her.” Language can totally change the way that you think about something. Especially if you’ve never really done kinky stuff before, get her to talk about what she really wants from you. This can be a session of dirty talk for her that will also clue you in to what she’s really after here.

Be Commanding Enough to Say No

"Say no before she eats you up"

“Say no before she eats you up”


If you don’t want to do something then you don’t want to do it. This can be the end of discussion. If she’s a sub, you can even spin this as a fun game. You don’t really want to do the things she’s asking, but if she still wants to get some kink out of it then she can say you don’t want to do it as part of a punishment. She can enjoy it on that level even if it’s not exactly what she wants, and you can have the kind of sex you were expecting when you brought her home.

Mostly, don’t feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. Sex is supposed to be fun for you as well; not everything revolves around pleasing her. If you’re just flat out not going to do what she wants, just tell her that. If she’s so hardcore kinky that she doesn’t even want to still have sex, look at it this way: you dodged a bullet. She was only going to get worse.

Dive on In

"Be brave and see what she has in store for you"

“Be brave and see what she has in store for you”


Once you’ve worked out what she wants and whether or not you’d be willing to do that for her, you have one last thing on your plate: actually getting down to business. You might have decided that you’d be okay pulling her hair while you do the deed, but it’s another to actually have to do it. The trick here is enthusiasm. Once you’ve decided to do it, pretend that you love doing it. This will boost your confidence and make the experience better for both of you. Besides, you never know; that kinky act that pushed the boundaries of what you were willing to do might turn out to be your new favorite move. So don’t be shy; give kink a try.

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