How to Turn a Fling into a Real Relationship

It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, you may find yourself at a loss: you started hooking up with a woman only to find that you actually want to pursue a relationship with her. Whether you want to keep things casual or you actually want to date her, it can be difficult to know how to express that you want to make things more serious. You’re probably much more used to telling women that you don’t want to pursue a relationship and that you want to keep things casual, not the opposite. Knowing how you can make a fling or hookup into a real relationship will be helpful information, even if you think it’ll never happen to you.

Show Her That You Care about More than Just Sex

"Take her to lunch dates"

“Take her to lunch dates”


One of the most subtle ways to show a woman you want something more out of your relationship is to let her know that you care about her in a way that goes beyond the hookup. If you do this long enough, she will likely already be open and accepting of a more serious relationship. Show her that you care about her by taking her out on more dates instead of skipping straight to having sex and hooking up. Start with more romantic gestures and doing little things to show her that you care, like sending her more texts throughout the day about how you’re doing. Show interest in her that you normally might have avoided because you didn’t want her to get too serious.

Gauge What She Wants from the Relationship

You don’t want to open up to a woman only to discover that she doesn’t want the same things that you do, so to avoid that kind of trouble, you should try and see what she wants first. You can do this by asking certain questions about what she wants out of your relationship. Sometimes you can’t be sure what a woman wants unless you ask her directly, which can be awkward and uncomfortable for you. Trying to skirt around the issue might just be frustrating for her, so if you think she will receive it well, try and ask her straight up what she would like from the relationship.

Tell Her How You Feel and What You Want

"Make it clear that you have started liking her"

“Make it clear that you have started liking her”


This is one of the hardest aspects of this situation for most guys. You’re likely not used to talking about your feelings, but you don’t have to get all mushy on her to get your point across. Let her know that you want something more out of the relationship than just hooking up. If you want to have a casual relationship and see where it goes, you should let her know that’s what you want. If you want something more serious and you actually want to date her, this is also something you need to make clear. Never be vague about what you want, since that can only lead to trouble if she thinks you want to be more serious than you actually do.

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